Let Haku Say Fuck
by PastellRain
Summary: Fic obviously contains cursing. Dell gives the innocent Haku some lessons on how to curse.


**NOTE** : Oh my gosh I actually am back. Well... Happy New Year! So much stuff has happened since I last uploaded a fic here. All that stuff that happened is on my tumblr. Memes, obsessions, inside jokes, all kinds of memories...

My new year's resolution is to write more. I swear, promise, and guarantee it's going to happen.

I've actually been writing a lot! But nothing had been really worthy of uploading here as of now. I actually wrote quite a bit of a Love Live yuri fic (NicoRinPana). I've also been busy with original fiction as well.

Well, I wrote this fic in like, an hour and didn't even try.

Isn't it weird that I can spend years on an idea and it never gets uploaded until an eternity later, but this thing that took an hour got uploaded instead?

* * *

"Now repeat after me..." Dell said. "Say it Haku. _Fuck_."

"Um...uh..." Haku stammered. "Ff-... Full?"

"You didn't say it. Now let's try it again. _Fuck_!" Dell said this time with extra gusto.

"Fu... Fun? ...Fun!" Haku squeaked with discomfort.

In the background, Rin and Len were holding a sign. "Let Haku Say Fuck!" It said.

"Okay Haku... You have a long ways to go." Dell said. "Well, you're dismissed from today's cursing lessons."

Haku nodded at her brother and disdainfully walked away.

"Wow, Haku." Len said. "You're so bad at cursing, you had to take lessons from Dell?"

"But... I really don't like to curse..." Haku said quietly.

"And yet, Dell curses all the time." Len said.

"Yeah! Just how can a brother and sister be so different?" Rin mentioned.

"Look at yourself, Rin." Len said. "We're brother and sister too, and we're different!"

"But not the way Haku and Dell are..." Rin said.

* * *

The next day...

Haku had a whole group of people cheering for her. Miku, Neru, Rin, Len, Kaito, Akaito, and Meiko.

"Come on Haku, you can say it!" They all chanted.

"Alright. Now repeat after me." Dell said, putting extra emphasis on his next word, " _Fuck_."

"...Fungus." Haku said uncomfortably.

Dell buried his face in his palm.

"Haku... You're never going to be intimidating if you can't even say fuck!" He said.

"I'm sorry." Haku apologized, like she always did for everything.

"We'll try it one more time today, okay? I believe in you. Now..." Dell looked her straight in the eye. " _Fuck_!"

"F- _Fuuuuu_..."

Huh? Dell's eyes lit up at the sound of the beginning of success.

Everything around them went quiet with suspense, except for the sound of Haku's stammering. Was Haku actually going to say it?

"Fu-fu... fu..." Haku tried and tried to push the word, out until her face came bright red.

"Come on Haku, you can do it!" Dell said. "I'll help you!"

Dell got up out of his chair and stepped on Haku's foot.

" _FUUUU_ -"

"She's gonna say it!" Miku chirped.

"... _FUDGE NUGGETS_! Dell, that hurt!" Haku yowled.

Everything went quiet again. This time, from disappointment.

"Aww."

"For fuck's sake!" Dell said with a huff.

"I'm... sorry." Haku said.

Dell gave a sigh.

"It's alright, Haku."

Haku began to walk away forlornly, until Dell called her name.

"Yes?" Haku turned around with a disheartening expression on her face.

"Well... I feel like I figured something out." Dell softened his voice and scratched the back of his head. "Well... you never curse. That's actually pretty cool. And... I think you should stay the way you are, Haku." Dell said.

His always-serious face then grew into a smile.

"Ah, really?" Haku said, her eyes glowing. The emotions on her face were as expressive as the sky.

"Yeah. I'm proud to have a sister who had never said the word fuck in her lifetime." Dell said, a gentle smile on his face. "Keep it up."

"Ah! Thank you, big brother!" Haku said. "Now I don't even have to say fuck!"

...

Haku, realizing what she just said, covered her mouth.

Dell's eyes grew twice their size. Everything. Froze.

...

After a long bout of silence, everyone started screaming.

"HAKU SAID IT!" They all yelled.

And Dell? Well, he just sank to the ground.

" _Oh, for fuck's sake_!"

* * *

 **NOTE** : Yeah, so I headcanon that Dell is actually Haku's whole brother, but they never really met before because of their divorced parents. This takes place after they meet I guess.

Dell really isn't as rude/hostile as he seems! He's more kuudere than tsundere in my opinion. I see him as a more stoic character who is misunderstood. However, I had to characterize him a bit differently to make this fic work.

This fic is lousy lol. Sorry.


End file.
